This is an old song that I've been sitting on for quite a while. It's very personal, yet unpolished. It's definitely something I want to share with you, but finding the right time to bring it up has been hard. I'm in a much better place now, and have been in no rush to revisit this conversation. That being said: this song helped me through some tough times and if it can do the same for you or someone you know, it would be irresponsible for me to keep it to myself. Hope it reaches you in good spirits but if not, just know it gets better.
lyrics
I'm sitting here thinking bout the life I'm leading
Torn apart, I feel like my soul is bleeding
So many people I mistreated, but I swear I didn't mean it
I was focused on my demons
Got caught up in the day to day
Lost track of the things that I meant to say
And now it's too late
So many missed chances, blown opportunities
But confusion's nothing new to me
I see a face in the mirror I don't recognize
Older now, but I haven't grown inside
I feel pain when I close my eyes
My thoughts drift to suicide, I can't lie
Listen, I don't see at as an option
I'm just saying that I think about it often
I would never make my mother pick a coffin
There's some lines that aren't meant for crossing
Not to mention, I see it as the coward's way out
I'd rather dig deep, reach back, and smack life in the mouth
Have a little bit of pride in yourself
It'll go a long way towards riding it out
Trust me
The rain keeps falling down
And the rain keeps falling down
So dig your roots into the ground
And grow tall, grow tall
I try to move on, shake it off
But I can't help but feel a sense of loss
There was a reason why our paths crossed
Sometimes I wonder if we're all lost
But nah, somebody out there knows a better way
Without a sense of doom every single night and day
I grab my head, hit my knees and I start to pray
But it's been too long, I don't know what to say
I'm grasping for straws, falling apart from all my cracks and my flaws
Would you look at all the shit that you caused?
Two worlds forever at odds
It's like I never even had a chance
Troubled kid in some baggy pants, listening to metal bands
Fuck it
Enough about me, let's switch the subject
I can't change the things that I grew up with
Nor do I want to make them public
You gotta rise above it
I tell myself that, yet I find myself looking right back
Like I can't move forward
It's like it just keeps pouring
The rain keeps falling down...
credits
released October 23, 2016
Recorded, Mixed, & Mastered by Alex Allinson at The Bridge Sound & Stage.
Lyrics by Uncle Sam.
Produced by Dee Lay.
Performed by Uncle Sam & Rayel.
